Author: Bonnie

Resources for Support

If you are having a crisis, or just feeling overwhelmed and need someone to talk to, please reach out for support. A little support can go a long way. Often we need someone else’s perspective to shine light where we can’t see it on our own, or simply to provide company in our difficult time, so we know we’re not alone. Below are phone numbers and chat rooms ranging from crisis intervention to warm lines, which simply provide emotional support.

 Suicidal Ideation Hotlines

24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK

http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx [online chat]

Multnomah County Crisis Line: 503.988.4888 & Toll-free: 800.716.9769;

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 ; 911

Walk-In Clinics in Portland, OR

Urgent Walk-In Clinic (Multnomah County)

https://multco.us/mhas/mental-health-crisis-intervention

Need to meet face to face? Stop by our Urgent Walk-In Clinic.

The clinic can help anyone experiencing a mental health crisis at no cost.

• Receive immediate care during a mental health crisis
• Speak to a psychiatrist or a mental health nurse practitioner
• Get help with medication and treatment

Location: 4212 SE Division St, Portland (MAP (link is external))

Hours: 7 am – 10:30 pm, seven days a week

Unity Mental Health Emergency Services

https://unityhealthcenter.org/contact-us-visit-us/

Every aspect of our mental health emergency services facility––from the soothing architectural flow to the colors on the walls––is designed to maximize comfort, care and recovery. Most behavioral and mental health emergencies are resolved quickly, so we created 50 comfortable short-term spaces for patients to use during their stay. For those who need longer-term solutions, we also offer inpatient care.

Our patients are treated by a dedicated team of psychiatric physicians and care providers. We have care navigators on site to help coordinate ongoing support for all of our patients. They work with community mental health, behavioral health and social service organizations to create and set up continued care plans, with the goal that everyone leaves Unity with a path to recovery in place.

1225 NE 2nd Ave, Portland, OR 97232; 503-988-4888

 Self-Harm Hot Lines

National Self-Injury Help Line: 1-800-DON’T-CUT (366-8288)

Self-Injury Foundation: 1-800-334-HELP

 Bodies Under Siege: https://buschat.info/ [online chat]

https://www.7cups.com/self-harm/ [online chat]

 Warm Lines [Emotional Support without a crisis]

 1) Call for Emotional Support:
http://mentalhealthsf.org/programs/peer-run-warm-line/  [1-855-845-7415]:
Monday-Wednesday, 7am-7pm
Thursday-Friday, 7am-11pm
Saturday-Sunday, 11am-7pm

2) David Romprey Oregon Warmline – Community Counseling Solutions

(800) 698-2392

Hours: Monday 10 a.m to 8 p.m.; Tuesday Noon to 8 p.m.; Wednesday 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.;

Thursday 1 p.m. to 6 p.m.; Friday Noon to 5 p.m.; Saturday/Sunday 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.

http://www.communitycounselingsolutions.org/warmline.html

3) Friends Helping Friends Warm Line is a peer run warm line in Connecticut that accepts national referrals. Callers may talk for fifteen minutes then wait a half hour to call again.
6PM-10PM (local time) on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays
Not toll free 860-681-5555

4) The Hartford Warm Line is a peer run warm line based in Connecticut but open to national callers. There is one Spanish speaking counselor (limited hours) and there are no call limits. There are no chat or text capabilities. Hours are 1:00pm-3:00pm Monday-Friday (EST/EDT).
Weekday Number Not toll free – 860-297-0844
Weekend Number Not toll free – 860-297-0920

5) Louisiana Warm Line
National peer run warm line based in Louisiana. No strict call limits, however repeat callers during one day may be limited. Hours of operation are Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday from 5:00pm-10:00pm (EST).
Toll free 800-730-8375

6) Montana Warm Line and Virtual Drop-In Center
The Montana Warmline is a peer run warm line based in Montana but accepting national callers. There are no translation services available, but they do have a chat feature available. Chat is through Yahoo, AIM, GoogleTalk, and MSN (username “montanawarmline”). Calls are limited to 15-20 minutes (unless a caller is in crisis, then they can have more time). Callers may call once per three hour shift, or twice per day on weekdays and four times per day on weekends.
4PM-10PM (MST/MDT) M-F and 10AM-10PM Sat and Sun
Toll free 877-688-3377

7) Reach Center (Washington State)
Reach Center (formerly CVAB) Warm Line is a pager based, peer run warm line out of Vancouver, WA accepting national calls. They are open from 5:00-10:00pm (PST) every day. There are no major call limits, though callers are usually restricted to one call per night. Usually it takes up to 15-20 minutes to receive a callback.
Not toll free 360-903-2853

8) Sacramento Consumer-Operated Warm Line
Sacramento Consumer-Operated Warm Line is a program of the NorCal Mental Health Association. The Warm Line is peer run and is available to all US residents. Calls are limited to two per day and about 20-25 minutes per call. At this time, due to budget cuts, calls are only available in English. Referrals to Sacramento area resources can be made.
9AM-4:30PM (PST) Mon-Fri
Toll free 855-642-6222

9) TLC Warm Line – Community Counseling Center
The TLC Warm Line is an entirely peer-run, non-crisis phone support line focused on southeastern Missouri but open to callers from anywhere in the United States. Peer counselors can provide empathy and emotional support, as well as local referrals if additional assistance is needed.
24/7/365 English language only.
Toll free Out-of-area calls 877-626-0638
Hotline Local calls 573-651-3642

10) Vision of Hope Warm Line (Arizona)
Vision of Hope is a national warm line based in Arizona. Calls are taken in English only, and calls are limited to 15 minutes every hour. Hours are Monday-Friday 12:00pm-12:00am, and Saturday/Sunday 4:00pm-12:00am Local time
Not toll free 602-347-1100

11) Washington Warm Line (Washington State)
The Washington Warm Line is a non-crisis, peer-staffed helpline available to anyone in the United States in need of emotional or mental health-related support. This line does not emphasize providing referrals. There are no official call limits, but callers are encouraged to call no more than once per hour.
Hours are limited but expanding, so please call to verify current hours.
5PM-9PM (PST)
Toll free Out-of-area calls 1-877-500-9276
For local calls 206-933-7001

12) The Cincinnati WARMLINE
The Cincinnati Warm Line is a non-crisis, entirely peer-staffed warmline open to callers from anywhere in the United States, 24-hours a day every day of the year. Peer counselors offer empathy and active listening, but do not offer advice or directives to callers. There are no texting or chatting capabilities. Referrals and information focus on the greater Cincinnati area, including Northern Kentucky. Calls are limited to one 20 minute call per counselor per shift (i.e. two calls per eight hours if two people on shift).
********Call volume is high, so multiple attempts or waiting on hold may be necessary to get through. No toll-free number is available, call the local number.
24/7/365
Not toll free 513-931-9276

13) MHASF’s Peer-Run Warm Line (San Francisco)
MHASF’s Peer-Run Warm Line provides emotional support and information about mental health resources. As peers, we have also had our own mental health challenges and use that experience to help others who may be struggling now. Referrals for San Francisco available.
At this time calls/chats from outside of the local area are subject to being limited to 2 per week.
7AM-11PM Weekdays and 11AM-7PM Weekends (PST)
Toll free 1-855-845-7415 or chat at: http://mentalhealthsf.org/programs/peer-run-warm-line/

14)

http://remedylive.com/ [online chat]

If you’re struggling with an issue and need someone to talk to please click the “chat with a SoulMedic” button at the top of the page. By keeping your issue a secret you are giving it power to destroy your life while it spreads as a cancer into your thoughts, actions, and relationships. Isolation is the worst way to live a full life, because it convinces a person that no one needs to know, that no one really understands, and ultimately, that no one really cares. When we spend all our energies protecting our secret from the world this mindset can create an independence foothold that feels right but eats away from the inside out. Let us help – we have private chat 24/7 with SoulMedics who care. 

Check out this article about a couple who utilized the gifts of meditation in their relationship. Read to the end to learn about “cool boredom” in relationships. If we are always expecting every moment with our partner to be the height of ecstasy or new experience, we are in for disappointment. But if we can open with presence to the simplicity of the gifts in the present moment, in and around us and with our partner, nourishment can be had without placing conditions on the moment….

Practicing the Perfections of Meditation, and Love

New York Times Sunday July 10, 2016

The problem with Hollywood’s romantic comedies, Ethan Nichtern explained during a talk in Manhattan on meditation and desire, is that they end just as the relationship is really getting started.

“In every rom-com that’s ever been, it ends at the beginning, it ends where it gets interesting,” Mr. Nichtern, the author of two books on Buddhism and a senior Buddhist teacher in the Shambhala tradition, said at that pre-Valentine’s Day session.

Mr. Nichtern’s own romantic life had just recently entered that interesting phase. He and Marissa Dutton, an agent in New York with the Magnet Agency, which includes work in set design and photography, had already had their “When Harry Met Sally” moments and were planning their wedding.

Ms. Dutton, 33, and Mr. Nichtern, 38, met in September 2013 in Lower Manhattan near the headquarters of the Interdependence Project, a nonprofit group founded by Mr. Nichtern that is dedicated to the practical application of Buddhism and meditation. After he and a mutual friend ran into her on the street, introductions were made, and both Mr. Nichtern and Ms. Dutton were impressed with what they saw.

Mr. Nichtern said he thought that Ms. Dutton, who grew up in Idyllwild, in Southern California, was “super cute, kind of shy and mysterious in her body language, but also very confident somehow.” She recalled being attracted to his steady gaze and resonant voice. A few days later, he reached out to her through their friend’s Facebook page.

“I wanted to flirt with her,” he said. “I friended her on Facebook to try to ask her out for coffee or a drink.”

That initial message surprised Ms. Dutton, but she didn’t make much of it.

“I was a bit naïve when he first reached out,” Ms. Dutton said. She remembered calling another friend, Jamie Isaia, and telling her how Mr. Nichtern had asked her out for coffee and how sweet she thought that was.

In a very un-Zenlike manner, Ms. Isaia responded, “Honey, he doesn’t want to be your friend.”

Before responding to his friend request, Ms. Dutton went through his Facebook profile and tried to put together whether Mr. Nichtern had had a girlfriend recently, and the answer seemed to be no.

After about a month of banter on Facebook and through text messaging, they had their first date, dinner at a Japanese restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and it was pretty much kismet.

“She got my jokes, but that doesn’t mean she necessarily thought they were funny,” he said. “I didn’t have to explain my references or my humor to her.

“She brings a California-meets-New-York-art-fashion-world sweet sharpness to analyzing culture and spirituality. Honestly, it helps me not take my meditation and Buddhist practice too seriously, which is a really great thing.”

Ms. Dutton disappointed her co-workers, who had become used to being entertained by tales of the terrible first dates she had endured. “This time when I came back, everyone was gearing up for another funny story, like another tale of Marissa’s dating drama,” she said. “But I almost burst into tears. I felt like, ‘I think I found my person.’ ”

“I was looking for someone who was centered and grounded and real,” she said. “I feel that in New York we get fooled a lot by people who are trying to be something they’re not, or trying to social climb. He wasn’t looking for me to get him anywhere.”

But he did move somewhere (to her Williamsburg apartment) after just three months. She had been practicing meditation for years, but she took only what is known as a vow of refuge in Buddhism after meeting Mr. Nichtern.

“I think that what binds us is that we both have a pretty serious meditative side, but we’re both working in New York City,” Mr. Nichtern said. “So, we’re both trying to figure out how to be mindful people in this crazy world.”

While the transition to living together was generally smooth, there were instances when their powers of meditation were put to good use. “Ethan definitely has his aesthetics and how he likes things, but I don’t think he is as particular or as fixated on things as I am,” Ms. Dutton said. “The forks have to be in sideways, and certain jars have to be facing a certain way in the cabinet. He said: ‘Why? I just don’t understand why.’ ”

That fastidiousness initially put Mr Nichtern on edge: “I remember feeling, ‘Oh, does she think I’m incompetent right now?’ I remember feeling that sort of fear.”

But meditation helped him get past that. “You open up to say, ‘Wait, what are they trying to do right now?’” he said. “And I think for an intimate relationship, actually staying connected to what the other person’s intention rather than an assumption is really important.”

“Sometimes you find out if the person’s intention is not that compassionate,” he said. “So, it’s not just Pollyanna.”

In Ms. Dutton’s case, he said, her intentions were “incredibly good.”

“She just likes things organized in certain ways,” he said. “It wasn’t about having things my way, it was about the fear of being perceived as incompetent in my own organizational or aesthetics skills. Once I could recognize that, it was a million times easier to let her have things her way, because at the end of the day, the way she likes things is better. She thinks about these things in an insightful way.”

They were married June 18 on the grassy expanse at Shadow Lawn, a historic farmstead in High Falls, N.Y. Sharon Salzberg, a Buddhist teacher and author, officiated.

Among the 130 guests were Eric T. Schneiderman, the New York State attorney general, who practices meditation, and the musician Loudon Wainwright III. (Mr. Nichtern’s father, David Nichtern, is a musician who wrote “Midnight at the Oasis” and also teaches meditation.)

During the ceremony, Katie Down, a musician seated on a blanket, played several instruments including a set of singing bowls made of quartz that rang like celestial bells when struck with a mallet; a shruti box, a harmonium-like instrument; and a monolina, a kind of hammer dulcimer.

Ms. Salzberg and others discussed the six “perfections,” actions that, if cultivated, lead to a more fulfilling life. In Shambhala Buddhism they are meditation, generosity, discipline, patience, joyful effort and wisdom.

Myra and Roger Dutton, the bride’s parents, whose marriage of 44 years may well make them experts on the topic, were chosen to discuss patience.

Mr. Nichtern’s father talked about wisdom as a “native intelligence” that one can use to clearly see what’s really happening — a useful skill for a couple.

Janice Ragland, the groom’s mother, spoke of discipline as “building step by step a relationship, home and family that is kind and nurturing.”

A week or so after the ceremony, the groom, who is writing a memoir about Buddhism, meditation and relationships, was reminded of his earlier take on rom-coms, and asked to expound a bit about the “interesting” part of relationships that begin where the stories in those films ended.

“We have this phrase in Shambhala, ‘cool boredom,’” he said. “It refers to a space where not much new is happening, but you really appreciate your senses, your connections to others and the present moment. A committed relationship includes a lot of familiarity and repetition, and I think cool boredom is a great phrase to describe how you have to practice after the credits roll, so to speak.

“If you don’t have the ability to appreciate each other when there isn’t a huge plot moment, you probably aren’t going to last long. In meditation, you get to practice cool boredom with yourself. In a relationship you get to practice it even more powerfully with another person. I really like getting bored with Marissa.”

Great article explaining the neuroscience behind a few simple things we can do to increase our well-being!
http://www.businessinsider.com/a-neuroscience-researcher-re…

All of us, especially as children, need love and support, to be seen and cared about, to be respected and accepted for all of who we are. Though it’s rare that any of us got all the messages we needed perfectly, the beauty of the human organism is we can heal old wounds in the present day. One way to start is focusing all the messages we needed to hear into our heart space, where we hold ourselves as a child, soaking up safety and a secure foundation, and taking in the preciousness of our being. I want to share my image of that in the hopes it may inspire you to connect with the preciousness of your being 🙂 (I created this during a Creative Arts and Body-Mindfulness Group I lead.)

Check out the curative power of the nature (reducing stress, negative self-talk, and depression, and increasing creative thinking and feelings of well-being) : http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2016/01/call-to-wild-text